I would like to share with you the Features Article I wrote for Insights, the HS Publication of CSA. Before even agreeing to our Features Editor at that time, I really had to gather my thoughts. Whether or not I'm going to publish an article about my sickness was and is an issue for me. I really pondered upon this because it's sharing a part of me to the whole High School body of CSA. And I mean, the 1600 or so students enrolled in the High School Department- not to mention, the faculty, administration etc. It was really a long time ago. Perhaps, most of my batchmates do not even remember my article or maybe they did not care to read it all. Whether or not that's good, I don't know. Anyway, as I have clarified before, all my blog articles are solely intended for my friends' eyes or for my network/ contacts only. So, if you're not one of them, you are invading my privacy. Next time, just ask permission and practice self-regulation. (BTW, I'm coming up with an article that features the similarities of a blog and a room anytime soon so just keep posted)
Blessing In Disguise
"The spirit will always be at it's strongest when the flesh is at its weakest..."
It has been six years since I was diagnosed with a disease that changed my life. I never really knew what SLE (Systematic Lupus Erymathosis, better known as Lupus) was until I reached an age old enough to understand what it really was.
Initially, all I really remembered was that my family was weeping. Close relatives kept visiting me in the hospital as if I were about to die. From that time on, I sensed something was wrong. Earlier, I had dismissed it as a mere fever that happens to most of the kids my age. But I didn't understand why I had joint pains that I could not control, rashess on my skin, constantly falling hair that left me with a thin scalp and seesawing weight. Standing up and simply moving one arm would hurt me a lot.
My parents took me to the doctor, and his prognosis was a typhoid fever. Then, the treatment followed. I was confined in the hospital for a week, and as the days passed I felt better. But after I was released, the fever started coming back- on and off. I began to feel worse. The doctor told us that I might have heart problems, so he referred us to a heart specialist at the Philippine Heart Center (PHC).
My parents were very supportive of me, despite the fact that my dad was working abroad. My mom was patient enough to accompany me to different hospitals, praying that the sickness be detected as early as possible to prevent chances of serious complications. The doctor at PHC advised us to go to an immunologist, a doctor who deals with the immune system, acting on a suspicion taht what I had was a more severe ailment. I was beginning to feel nervous, seeing all those machines and gadgets in the hospitals. My mom and I were hoping that the doctor's suspicions would be unfounded- but of course; you don't always get what you wish for.
So came the sad news: after a series of clinical and laboratory tests, the suspicion was confirmed- I had a lupus. I waited outside the doctor's clinic while she broke the sad news to my mom. Tears sprung from my mom's eyes whe she heard it. Neither my parents nor I knew what this was at that time. All I knew was that I would have died if I had not been diagnosed early. The doctor said it was a rare disease with an unknown cause that was perhaps hereditary. My family history revealed that I once had a second-degree relative who died due to SLE. The next thing the doctor told my mom was that procedure required lupus patients to take medication and to be treated for the rest of their lives unless a miracle happens.
Those words struck me irrevocably, and remained permanently in my memory since then. I can vividly remember the scene as we went home. Mom was still crying, and because of the emotions that were churning inside of me, I cried too. From that time on, I told myself that I had to be strong for myself and for my family.
I was admitted again to the hospital for a couple of weeks. Taking tablets was hard for me, so they had to inject me with the drug. I was also worrying about school because I had been missing a lot of work. To help solve this, my mom talked to my teachers, who were most understanding of my condition. In fact, they included me in their prayers.
That, for me, helped a lot in getting me through what was my saddest Christmas. I underwent a kidney biopsy wherein a nephrologist took some tissues from the organ. I was not allowed to eat afterwards. With that and several other doctors' orders- no ingestion of salt or additives, weekly checkups and varied doses of __ and medications-- I escaped from possible death.
We all experience problems in our life- problems that make us strong enough to overcome any coming anxiety. Although a part of me just wants to turn back the clock and stop this from the beginning, I have come to realize that somehow, God had a plan for me. After all, despite all the pain i have been through, looking at the bright side is more my style. Above all, I have learned many valuable things from this experience: to have a positive outlook in life and to learn to value and appreciate what we have.
And now, here I am... still continuing medication to control my sickness and to prevent it from suddenly flaring up again. Beyond the medications I underwent, I continue praying to God to always grant me the grace for me to overcome all these. I look up to Him for support and strength because I cannot really do this alone. Until now, we are still anticipating that miracle. I am not losing hope. I still believe.
Initially, all I really remembered was that my family was weeping. Close relatives kept visiting me in the hospital as if I were about to die. From that time on, I sensed something was wrong. Earlier, I had dismissed it as a mere fever that happens to most of the kids my age. But I didn't understand why I had joint pains that I could not control, rashess on my skin, constantly falling hair that left me with a thin scalp and seesawing weight. Standing up and simply moving one arm would hurt me a lot.
My parents took me to the doctor, and his prognosis was a typhoid fever. Then, the treatment followed. I was confined in the hospital for a week, and as the days passed I felt better. But after I was released, the fever started coming back- on and off. I began to feel worse. The doctor told us that I might have heart problems, so he referred us to a heart specialist at the Philippine Heart Center (PHC).
My parents were very supportive of me, despite the fact that my dad was working abroad. My mom was patient enough to accompany me to different hospitals, praying that the sickness be detected as early as possible to prevent chances of serious complications. The doctor at PHC advised us to go to an immunologist, a doctor who deals with the immune system, acting on a suspicion taht what I had was a more severe ailment. I was beginning to feel nervous, seeing all those machines and gadgets in the hospitals. My mom and I were hoping that the doctor's suspicions would be unfounded- but of course; you don't always get what you wish for.
So came the sad news: after a series of clinical and laboratory tests, the suspicion was confirmed- I had a lupus. I waited outside the doctor's clinic while she broke the sad news to my mom. Tears sprung from my mom's eyes whe she heard it. Neither my parents nor I knew what this was at that time. All I knew was that I would have died if I had not been diagnosed early. The doctor said it was a rare disease with an unknown cause that was perhaps hereditary. My family history revealed that I once had a second-degree relative who died due to SLE. The next thing the doctor told my mom was that procedure required lupus patients to take medication and to be treated for the rest of their lives unless a miracle happens.
Those words struck me irrevocably, and remained permanently in my memory since then. I can vividly remember the scene as we went home. Mom was still crying, and because of the emotions that were churning inside of me, I cried too. From that time on, I told myself that I had to be strong for myself and for my family.
I was admitted again to the hospital for a couple of weeks. Taking tablets was hard for me, so they had to inject me with the drug. I was also worrying about school because I had been missing a lot of work. To help solve this, my mom talked to my teachers, who were most understanding of my condition. In fact, they included me in their prayers.
That, for me, helped a lot in getting me through what was my saddest Christmas. I underwent a kidney biopsy wherein a nephrologist took some tissues from the organ. I was not allowed to eat afterwards. With that and several other doctors' orders- no ingestion of salt or additives, weekly checkups and varied doses of __ and medications-- I escaped from possible death.
We all experience problems in our life- problems that make us strong enough to overcome any coming anxiety. Although a part of me just wants to turn back the clock and stop this from the beginning, I have come to realize that somehow, God had a plan for me. After all, despite all the pain i have been through, looking at the bright side is more my style. Above all, I have learned many valuable things from this experience: to have a positive outlook in life and to learn to value and appreciate what we have.
And now, here I am... still continuing medication to control my sickness and to prevent it from suddenly flaring up again. Beyond the medications I underwent, I continue praying to God to always grant me the grace for me to overcome all these. I look up to Him for support and strength because I cannot really do this alone. Until now, we are still anticipating that miracle. I am not losing hope. I still believe.
* Now, 12 years had already passed since that diagnosis but I continue to struggle and cling to God for support. I underwent almost all kinds of tests, 2 surgical operations, 2 kidney biopsis and others but I'm still standing strong. That's all I have and I'm truly blessed and happy. My sickness is a blessing to me because i have become closer to God and I have realized and experienced a lot of good things despite that human condition. :-) Lord, this is for YOU because I love You.
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